Rambling..

I feel like sometimes I'm being pulled into too many different directions. You know? & I sometimes I don't even know it's what I want to be doing. I feel like when I want something...it usually does not happen & I always have to adjust to keep the peace of the situation. Like with the boyfriend...I feel like I give-in too much in doing things that he wants to do. -_-

I don't know. & plus this weekend too. Birthday Bash weekend. I really really wanted to go with Babe. But he doesn't want to go. He just wants to drink with the boys. & I told him now since he's 21 he can drink inside. But he doesn't want to now. & then his friend's got a hotel room. & I guess I'm excited for that. But see....again....adjusting...

& then with sister. Oh yes I love her and she's my best friend but I feel like sometimes she gets hypocritical. Like she's always complaining on how I'm never home or never with her because I'm always with Joshua. BUT-- she's always with her friends...at practice...with her boyfriend. I mean come on. Her first priority is school & her boyfriend too. So why does she jump down my throat about shit when she does it too. Plus the timing is all wrong. Whenever she's home with mama&dad then I'm out. & then whenever I'm home she's always out. I don't know what to do sometimes.

Atleast lately it's been good with Mom. I mean for a long long while I never liked being home because whenever I was home, since I wouldn't see her much...all she would talk to me about is school, work, & josh. Which at the time I hated school, work sucked, & dealing boyfriend troubles. So after Mom and I had a few long talks about school & figuring out what I want to do with my life and how she's been laying off about being out all the time thing....My goshhh it feels good. Like we're talking more and I haven't felt that way since the begining of the year. It's been a while. So we're good. thankgodd.

Anyways. Still crossing my fingers about the job. :)

Peace lovers.